The quintessential Real American Hero, G.I. Joe made its theatrical debut in 1987 as an animated film. That film sported an amazing opening sequence, but was otherwise an abhorrent misfire that disappointed fans by irrevocably corrupting the franchise. My hopes are high that the new version, while understandably subject to updated spin, will yield the fictional military-versus-terrorists epic I've longed for years to see.
Since no casting choices have yet been made, here's my helpful memo to director Stephen Sommers as he considers the field, appeals to international fans, and seeks to maintain a reasonable budget...
G.I. Joe
Jamie Bamber as Duke. Jamie's performance on "Battlestar Galactica" shows he'd excel as the team's field commander. He has a commanding presence, handles military roles well, and would bring "Battlestar" fans into the G.I. Joe fold.
Ray Park as Snake Eyes. Best known for his role as Darth Maul in "Star Wars," Ray has the skills and gravitas needed to bring this silent and masked martial artist to life.
Jennifer Garner as Scarlet. We know Jennifer can fight. We've seen her do so quite well in "Alias" and "Daredevil." But she also has heart. And as the team's emotional core, Scarlet demands an actress of Jennifer's caliber.
J. August Richards as Roadblock. August, who played the endearing Charles Gunn on "Angel," would be perfect for the team's heavy weapons expert and cook. He also could lighten the mood on what might otherwise be a heavy-handed film.
Adam Baldwin as Gung Ho. No other actor could better play Gung Ho, the team's Marine powerhouse. Known to geeks around the world as the rough and determined Jayne Cobb in the short lived television series "Firefly," Adam was born to play this role.Cobra
Gary Oldman as Cobra Commander. This film absolutely needs Gary to portray the maniacal and unbalanced menace that is Cobra Commander. His stellar work in "The Fifth Element" and "Air Force One" shows no other actor could better fill this role.
Michael E. Rodgers as Destro. Michael is well poised to bring the Scottish arms dealer Destro to life. A true Scot himself, boasting versatile screen and voice work, I think Michael would excel in this role.
Tricia Helfer as the Baroness. Another pull from the "Battlestar" cast, Tricia knows well how to play a cold, calculating villain. Plus, who wouldn't pay $10 to see a fight between her and Jennifer Garner?
Jet Li as Storm Shadow. Jet, a premier martial artist and actor, would do an amazing job as the Cobra operative Storm Shadow. He's also a bankable name internationally, highly fluent in the language of "I kick butt on screen."So those are my suggestions. What are yours?
2 comments:
I think the opening sequence would have been better without the double crotch shot of the parachuting Cobra guy.
What the hell are you talking about Josh? I loved the old GI Joe cartoon from start to finish. And as long as I don't see it now, I'm sure that I'll continue to as well! However, considering how *sigh* JUST FUCKING AWESOME (for the next few seconds you might here the sound of me eating my hat) of a job was done with Transformers, I too have high hopes for a new GI Joe movie.
I like the cast list suggestions, and most even seem reasonable. Maybe even Jet Li if he's a GI Joe fan. However, I just don't think J. August Richards is big enough to be Roadblock. We're talking someone like Michael Clarke Duncan just for the right size. And he'd rock!
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