I had greatly dialed back my hopes and expectations for this senseless mess of a movie after seeing the many horrible reviews for it, including a reasonably written lament in the Washington Post penned by someone who enjoyed the last film. Even so, director Michael Bay took the franchise to new lows with a paper-thin plot, terrible stereotyping and numerous characterization missteps.That Hasbro went along with this abomination demonstrates to me how little they care for the Transformer fans who brought them to this point — and how desperate they are to milk this franchise for all it's worth. This gives me absolutely no hope for the forthcoming "G.I. Joe" movie and has obliterated any interest I might have had in seeing films based on other Hasbro properties, such as Monopoly.
Really, it's that bad. To enumerate my grievances, I offer the following list of complaints. These items are by no means exhaustive, as they're based on notes I took during one viewing, but they give you a general idea of my distaste for the film. Be aware here there be spoilers, so click away now if you don't want to know some key plot points.
• The first Decepticon shown in the film — the massive, two-wheeled robot you saw in commercials — violates Michael Bay's own ban on "mass shifting." This ban was enacted so that we wouldn't have pistols transforming into towering robots, a theory I can understand if not support. But how one construction vehicle can become the imposing monstrosity without violating this tenet is beyond me.
• Incredibly juvenile humor is used throughout the film, making an already pedestrian movie seem pathetic. Twice are we subjected to dog-mating humor, we suffer through an almost full-screen shot of a middle-aged man's ass, and two demolition balls are conspicuously placed on Devastator to comprise its "scrotum." I grimaced at each occasion.
• Using worse stereotyping than "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace," Michael Bay presents two Autobot "twins" as illiterate, urban screwups with unkept tops and gold teeth. The characters were unnecessary and simply made me feel uncomfortable each time they appeared onscreen. I was actually relieved when I thought one had been killed, but was disappointed to see him return a moment later.• Characterization for many old and new stars is constantly mishandled. Sam, a once stumbling but hopeful youth, has become an arrogant fool who channels far too much "A Beautiful Mind" to be recognizable. Mikaela, a once fiercely independent woman, has lost herself amid her inexplicable love for Sam. Jetfire, a character long established as one of the more interesting and complex Transformers, is reduced to little more than a cantankerous old robot. The list goes on.
• Optimus Prime is killed and spends half the movie comatose as Sam searches for the means to revive him. His absence, presumably done to add tension and clear the way for other characters to become featured, inadvertently demonstrates how badly the franchise needs him as an anchor.
• The notion of Transformers as "robots in disguise," the toy line's original tag line, is abandoned as Michael Bay goes full throttle with his classic, manic approach to filmmaking. By the movie's end, there is nobody left on Earth who's unaware that these alien Transformers exist and are among us. This begs the unanswered question as to why any Transformer would bother keeping their General Motors vehicle form when they can simply "reformat" their exterior into something more efficient for travel or combat.
• In contrast to the last movie, which the writers nicely summarized as simply a story about "a boy and his car," the overbearing sequel lacks a similar entry point by which people can relate to the tale. The new movie is just another alien-invasion/world-in-peril/run-and-gun yarn with a coat of Transformers paint applied. It's uninspired and disappointing.
A sequel, I suppose, is inevitable given the film's massive opening week haul. I can only hope that a new director and new approach is found for the third film.
1 comments:
As far as the first one goes, there are some construction vehicles that really are massive enough for that level of shift, and most of it's "body" was empty space.
I agree with the rest of the points made to one degree or another. Especially the twins. They just annoyed the living hell out of me. If we wouldn't have seen them past their use in the first few scenes, fine, no problem. But they were the robot pals through out? Ugh.
As for the rest, well, it was almost what I expected/wanted out of a Transformer's movie. I just could have used more hot robot on robot violence is all.
Personally, I still hold out hope for GI Joe. Only because the ten year old in me wants to run to my parent's house, pull my collection out of the attic, and decorate my apartment with them in honor of the movie. This film will not hurt us. It will be great.
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